Tis The Season
by Ilex the Elder
Summary: 'Tis the week before Christmas, but Ash and Professor Oak have a big problem: they can't think of a suitable present for the special women in their lives! Can they find the perfect gift and the perfect holiday love, despite the antics of Team Rocket?
1. December 18

Ash Ketchum leaned back on his bed and closed his eyes. 

__

Man, I wish this headache would go away.

It was the week before Christmas, and Ash still hadn't figured out what to get Misty. He had bought presents for everyone else: Pikachu, Brock, Tracey, his mom, and even Professor Oak. But Misty was by far the hardest of all. Her present had to be just right: not too mushy, yet not too impersonal, either. 

He couldn't ask his mom about what to get Misty because then she'd assume that Misty was his girlfriend and would probably do something to embarrass him. Ash had thought about asking Brock, but since the three of them spent all their time hanging out together, he was afraid that Brock might mention something to Misty about it. Same story with Tracey. It was times like these that Ash wished that his dad was still alive, but he had died when Ash was just a baby. He really needed a man's advice. 

"Pika?"

Pikachu jumped onto the bed and regarded Ash with a quizzical expression.

"Hey, Pikachu," Ash said as he picked up his Pokémon and hugged him. "I wish I knew what to get Misty for Christmas."

"Pika-pi," Pikachu suggested helpfully.

Ash chuckled. "I don't think Misty needs a baseball cap like mine, but thanks for the idea." 

Ash sat up and stared out the window. The windmill spinning atop the hill next to his house caught his eye.

"Hey, yeah! Why didn't I think of that before?" Ash pulled on his jacket. "Come on, Pikachu. Let's go see Professor Oak."

--- 

"What do you mean, 'Professor Oak isn't here'?"

"Sorry, Ash," Tracey replied. "He went to Pewter City. He should be back pretty soon, though. Want to come inside for a while?" 

"No, thanks." Tracey couldn't help him with his problem. "I'll stop by some other time." 

"If it's something here at the lab, I'm pretty familiar with Professor Oak's research."

"That's okay, Tracey. I'll see you later." 

A dejected Ash started back down the hill to his house, but decided to take a short cut through the gardens that surrounded the Oak lab. Since it was mid-December, the trees were bare and, except for a couple of holly bushes, the gardens were brown. As Pikachu rustled through the dead leaves on the ground, a flash of red caught Ash's eye. He moved closer to investigate and saw a bright red flower in the middle of a patch of dead foliage.

"Look at that, Pikachu. I didn't think flowers bloomed this late in the year. I wonder if Misty would like that?" He leaned over to pick the flower, but it wouldn't budge. 

__

Must be stuck on something, Ash thought as he pulled harder. As he gave it a good hard tug, the flower and the Pokémon that was attached to it flew out of the bushes. Ash then found himself face-to-face with an angry Bellossom.

"Bell!" With an angry scowl, the grass-type Pokémon shot a cloud of sparkling powder in the direction of Ash's face.

"Oh, no! Stun Spore!" As Ash tried to get away, he stumbled and fell into a patch of thorns. 

Pikachu, sparks flying from his cheeks, raced over to the Bellossom and prepared to attack the Pokémon that had caused his trainer to get hurt.

"Pikachu? What are you doing here?" Professor Oak, who had just returned from Pewter City, had heard the commotion in the garden and decided to investigate.

"Bell! Bellossom!" The grass Pokémon said angrily, gesturing in the direction of the boy who lay moaning facedown in the briar patch.

"You say that the boy tried to pull your flower off?" Professor Oak translated. 

"Bellossom," the Pokemon responded in affirmation.

"Oh, I'm sure it was an accident, Bellossom. Why don't you go on now, and I'll tend to him."

"Bellossom," the Pokémon huffed indignantly as it walked away.

--- 

"Hold still, Ash." 

Ash was sitting on a table in the Pokémon examination room in the laboratory while Professor Oak was administering first aid to the injured boy. 

"Ow!" Ash yelped. "Don't you have any antiseptic that _doesn't_ sting?"

"You still haven't answered my question, Ash," Professor Oak said as he doctored yet another cut on the boy's face. "Why were you bothering Bellossom?"

"I…uh…" Well, he did come over to ask Professor Oak for advice. "I was trying to find a Christmas present for Misty."

With an amused grin, Professor Oak turned his attention to the large cut over Ash's eye. "A Christmas present, eh? How did that involve Bellossom?" 

"I…well, I saw the flower and thought that Misty might like it. I didn't know it was attached to Bellossom."

"I see. Hmm, that cut looks pretty deep. I don't think a bandage alone will suffice. Wait here." Professor Oak disappeared down the hall and returned a few seconds later with a tray of instruments. Ash's eyes opened wide as Professor Oak produced a syringe.

"Uh…what are you going to do with that, Professor?" Ash asked nervously.

"It's just a local anesthetic so you won't feel the stitches," Professor Oak explained as he drew up several cc's of a clear solution.

"Stitches?!" Ash hopped off of the examination table. "Uh, I think I hear my mom calling me. I'd better go."

"Suit yourself, Ash. But your mother will end up having to take you to the doctor, which certainly won't be cheap. I'm willing to help save you the expense and trouble of a doctor's visit."

Ash paused for a moment. Professor Oak did have a point. Reluctantly, Ash climbed back onto the table.

"Don't worry, Ash," Professor Oak reassured the boy. "I've stitched up hundreds of Pokémon. I even stitched up my own leg once when I had a run-in with one of Sandslash's claws. You can barely see the scar."

Ash closed his eyes. "Okay, Professor. Whenever you're ready."

"Why don't you lie down, Ash? It'll be easier for me to work on you." With some trepidation, Ash obeyed. "Now, you'll feel a small sting as the needle goes in….There, now let's give that a couple of minutes to work." 

Ash opened his eyes and saw Professor Oak holding a needle with suture material.

"So, you haven't found a present for Misty yet. Christmas is in a week, you know."

"I know, Professor Oak. That's why I came over. I need your help."

"My help? For what?"

"Well, you're a guy, aren't you?"

"The last time I checked, I was," Professor Oak said with amusement as he touched the needle to the cut over Ash's eye. "Can you feel that?"

Ash shook his head. "I…I need a guy's advice on what to get a girl for Christmas," Ash explained as Professor Oak started suturing his wound.

"Did you ask Brock or Tracey about it?"

"I can't do that. They might tell Misty. Besides, they're not old like you."

Professor Oak made a face. "I'm not _that_ old, Ash."

"I didn't mean it like that, Professor. What I meant was that you've got more experience with women and stuff like that. You know what women like, don't you?"

"Ash, if I knew what women liked, I'd be ahead of every other man in the world." Finished with Ash, Professor Oak stepped back to admire his handiwork. "There. Not a bad job, if I do say so myself. Let me go find a bandage for that." 

"You're done already? That was fast."

"It was only two stitches. Now unless you want your mother to have a heart attack when you get home, I suggest that you keep the bandage on those." 

"Thanks, Professor. I owe you one."

"No trouble, my boy. Just let me know if there's any redness, pain, or swelling around the stitches. Which reminds me…when was the last time you had a tetanus shot?"

Ash's eyes grew wide.

"Can't remember? Well, I think I might have some around here…" 

As Professor Oak searched through the cabinets, Ash quickly hopped off of the table and ran down the hall. He had almost made it to the front door when he collided with Tracey.

"Hey, watch it, Ash! Why are you in such a hurry?"

"How can you work for that guy? He's needle-happy!" Ash exclaimed as he flew out the door.

Professor Oak stuck his head out of the doorway. "Tracey, did you see Ash come your way?"

"He's gone already, Professor. Something about needles."

Professor Oak smiled and shook his head. As he headed back to the examination room to clean and put away his instruments, he realized something.

__

I haven't bought Delia a present yet, either!


	2. December 19

The next morning, Ash took the early train to Saffron City under the pretense of going on an expedition. (Which wasn't a complete lie, since he was on an expedition of sorts…a shopping expedition to find a present for Misty.)

As Ash and Pikachu hopped off of the train and headed for the largest department store in all of Kanto, Ash spotted a familiar face.

"Hi, Professor Oak. What are you doing here?"

Professor Oak, embarrassed at having been caught looking at the women's dresses in the display window at the entrance of the Saffron City Department Store, tried to think of a plausible excuse.

"I…uh, I….I came here to look for some…" He spotted Pikachu. "Some Christmas presents for some of my Pokémon."

"Then why are you looking at the ladies' dresses, Professor? I didn't think Pokémon usually wore clothes."

"Uh, never mind that, Ash." Professor Oak quickly changed the subject. "What are you doing here?"

Now it was Ash's turn to make up an excuse. "Oh, Pikachu and I, we were just…just…um…" Ash's face turned bright red.

Professor Oak smiled. "Still looking for a present for Misty, are you?"

"Yeah," Ash admitted.

A brilliant idea popped into Professor Oak's head. Who better to know what Delia would like than her son?

"I have an idea, Ash. Why don't I come along and help you find something for Misty? After all, isn't that why you came over to see me yesterday?"

"Well, yeah. I guess so."

"How's your cut, by the way? Any problems?"

"It's fine, Professor," Ash said hurriedly. (He was afraid that Professor Oak might still try to give him a tetanus shot when he wasn't looking.) "Why don't we start looking around?" Ash studied the department store directory. "So where do we start, Professor? What do you think Misty would like?"

Professor Oak thought about it for a minute. He really wasn't certain what a teenage girl would like, not having had any daughters of his own. There was his granddaughter, May, but his late wife had always been the one who bought her birthday and Christmas presents. And now that May was in college, she was happy to just receive money.

"Well, why don't we look around and get some ideas? Maybe something will strike your fancy." 

As the two headed upstairs to the second floor, Ash noticed that Professor Oak kept looking at the women's clothes.

"Why are you looking at that, Professor? I thought you came here to look for Pokémon presents."

Caught again, Professor Oak quickly tried to make up another excuse.

__

Well, I guess there's no harm in confiding in the boy.

"All right, Ash. I admit it. I really came here to find a Christmas present for your mother."

"For Mom?" Ash grinned. "I didn't know you liked my mom."

"Uh…well, that is to say…we're friends." Professor Oak's face turned bright red.

"Oh, _just_ friends. I see." Ash smiled conspiratorially and winked.

"Yes, just friends. Like you and Misty. Look, Ash, I'll make a deal with you. I'll help you find a present for Misty if you'll help me pick out something that your mother would like."

"Okay. Let's start over there," Ash said, pointing to the women's department.

--- 

"Jess, my feet are killing me," James complained as he lugged a huge stack of brightly-wrapped packages through the Saffron City Department Store.

"Be quiet, James," Jessie replied curtly. "I have a lot to carry too, you know," indicating the one small box in her hand. "Besides, the Boss will be more than impressed by the presents we've selected for him. He'll be sure to give us a bonus."

"Yeah, well, we're gonna need it after all the money we've spent on these gifts for him," Meowth said wearily as he shifted the stack of boxes in his paws. "Hey, wait a minute! Look over there. Isn't that one of the twerps?"

The three watched as Ash and Professor Oak wandered aimlessly through the aisles of ladies' garments.

"James," Jessie smiled. "I have a brilliant idea."

"That's what I was afraid of," James sighed. He had noticed the smile spreading across Jessie's face.

"Do you think your mother would like this?" Professor Oak asked, holding up a green sweater.

"Nahh, Mom likes stuff like gardening and cooking," Ash said as he picked up a blue sweater. "I wonder if Misty would…"

"Well, hello there!" Ash turned and saw a crimson-haired saleswoman and a purple-haired salesman standing behind him. "Can we help you with anything?"

"Uh, no thanks. We're just looking," Ash said hastily, somewhat embarrassed at being caught in the women's department.

"Perhaps if you tell us what you're looking for, then maybe we can help you," the salesman inquired helpfully. "A present for a special someone, perhaps?"

"A certain _female_ someone, maybe?" the saleswoman said, smiling. 

Ash's face turned bright red as he quickly tossed the sweater with bright pink Butterfrees on it back into the pile on the display table.

"Let's go, Professor," Ash said, grabbing the older man's arm.

"But wait!" interjected the purple-haired salesman. "We're having a special sale today! And it's just for Pokémon trainers. I couldn't help but noticing your adorable Pikachu." James smiled evilly in Pikachu's direction. Pikachu sweatdropped nervously.

Jessie took Ash's arm. "Why don't you tell me all about the twerp…I mean, that special young lady you're buying a present for? Do you think she'd like some perfume?" Jessie whipped out a huge atomizer.

"No thanks," said Ash. After his disastrous encounter with Erika and her perfume store at Celadon City, Ash wanted nothing to do with perfume ever again.

"But it's our latest scent, Sunflora Sunshine!" Jessie sprayed a huge cloud of perfume in Ash's and Professor Oak's faces. Both males started choking and gasping.

"Maybe some jewelry, perhaps?" Meowth, wearing a rhinestone-studded tiara, and James, wearing a full-length strand of pearls, appeared from behind the jewelry counter.

"Aren't these just divine?" James cooed as he admired the pearl bracelet he was also wearing.

"Yes, they're very nice," said Professor Oak, "but they're also way out of our price range. Come on, Ash."

"Wait!" Jessie grabbed Ash's arm. "How about a dress?" Jessie tossed a garment in James' direction. "My associate will model the latest Paris creation while I gather some information about the young woman you're buying for." 

"Jess, I'm not…" James whispered as he uneasily regarded the outfit Jessie had tossed to him.

"Just get back there and put the dress on!" Jessie hissed. She then turned her attention to Ash. "Now then, do you know exactly what size your female friend is?"

"Size? I don't know what size Misty is."

"Well, how tall is she?"

"Well, I guess she's a couple of inches taller than me."

Jessie wrote down the information in her notebook. "And what size is her bust?"

Ash's face turned redder than Jessie's hair. "Her _what_?"

"Never mind," Jessie said as she scribbled some more. "She's pretty flat."

"Wait, how did you know…"

Jessie turned around and peeked behind the curtain where James was getting dressed. "How is everything going in there?"

"Could you find me a girdle, Jessie?" 

Jessie drew the curtains back. "While my associate is getting ready, how about I obtain some information about _your_ lady friend," she said, addressing Professor Oak. "How tall is your girlfriend?"

"Ash's mother is not my…" 

"You're dating the twerp's mom?" Jessie interrupted, surprised at this bit of information.

"Kissy-kissy!" Meowth teased.

"How sweet! Maybe the two of you will have a double wedding!" Jessie gushed. "Now, what size is your girlfriend's bust?"

"Um, well…it…" Professor Oak cupped his hands in front of his own chest, trying to gauge Delia's proportions. Even though he grossly overestimated the size of Delia's bust, he wasn't aware of it. After all, he thought she had pretty amazing breasts. And hips. And legs.

"Hey, Professor?" Ash noticed that Professor Oak had a faraway, dreamy glance.

Snapped out of his fantasizing about Delia by Ash's question, Professor Oak turned to the boy. "Did you say something, Ash?"

"And now," Jessie announced, "the latest in evening wear, straight from Paris!" She dramatically drew aside the curtain to reveal James in a skintight purple minidress, complete with high heels and feather boa.

Professor Oak and Ash were shocked into silence at the disturbing sight.

"And it even comes with a matching handbag!" James squealed enthusiastically.

"Let's get out of here, Professor," Ash said frantically, gathering up Pikachu. 

"Wait!" Jessie blocked their way. "We also have matching fashions for Pokémon, too. Let me see if I can find something for your cute little Pikachu." She grabbed Pikachu and started running in the opposite direction.

"Hey! Gimme back my Pikachu!" Ash shouted.

"Sorry, twerp," said Meowth as he hopped over the counter. "No refunds!"

"Jess, wait! I can't run in heels!" James protested as he struggled to catch up with Jessie and Meowth.

"Pikachu, Thundershock 'em now!" Ash ordered. 

As Pikachu let loose with a powerful Thundershock, James caught his heel on the carpet and tripped, causing a manikin to topple into Jessie, who, in turn, fell on top of Meowth. 

"Aaaugh! Looks like Team Rocket's underfoot again," Jessie, James, and Meowth said in unison as a display of women's shoes collapsed, burying the three under a mountain of high heels.

"Nice job, Pikachu," Ash congratulated his Pokémon as it leapt onto his shoulder. "But I think we need to take our business somewhere else."


	3. December 20

The next morning, Ash answered a knock at his door and was surprised to see Misty on his doorstep.

"Misty?" he gulped. "What are you doing here?"

"I was going to do some Christmas shopping for my sisters at the Saffron City Department Store and was wondering if you'd like to come with me."

__

Oh, I don't want to go there again, Ash thought. It had been embarrassing enough the last time he was there. _But to embarrass myself in front of Misty…hey, wait a minute,_ Ash realized. _If I go with Misty, then maybe I can find out what she wants for Christmas!_

"Sure, Misty. Let's go! Come on, Pikachu." Ash motioned to his Pokémon.

"By the way, Ash, what happened to your face?" Misty asked, noticing the multitude of scratches and the bandage on Ash's forehead.

"Oh, uh, Pikachu and I had a Pokémon battle with a wild Bellossom and I kind of got in the way of its Razor Leaf attack." 

"Pika?" a confused Pikachu asked, tugging on Ash's pants leg. That wasn't how he remembered it.

Ash hastily picked up Pikachu and stuffed him under his arm. "Uh, we'd better get going, Pikachu, before all the sales are over. Come on, Misty."

--- 

"Ho-ho-ho! Santa needs to take a little break right now and feed his reindeer! I'll be back in five minutes!" The man portraying Santa Claus at the Saffron City Department Store waved to the children waiting in line eagerly and hurried to grab a bite to eat. 

"Oh, Santa," a female voice purred in his direction. 

Santa looked around and saw a sexy-looking red-haired elf peeking around a Christmas tree. 

"Yes, Santa," the elf continued as she crooked her finger. "Come over here and let me tell you what I want for Christmas."

Santa eagerly hopped behind the tree and was immediately jumped by Team Rocket.

"Let me go!" the portly ex-Santa protested as Elf Jessie and Meowth the Red-Nosed Reindeer tied him up with strands of garland. James climbed into the Santa costume as Meowth slapped a "Do Not Open Until Christmas" sticker over the former Santa's mouth.

As Ash and Misty entered the Saffron City Department Store, they were greeted by a skinny purple-haired Santa, a crimson-haired elf, and a creature that looked like a cross between a cat and a red-nosed reindeer.

"Ho-ho-ho!" the skinny Santa laughed in Ash and Misty's direction. "Come sit on Santa's lap and tell me what you want for Christmas!"

"Oh, Ash, let's go tell Santa what we want for Christmas," Misty said enthusiastically. 

"Are you kidding, Misty? That's for…" Ash then realized that this was the perfect opportunity to find out what Misty really wanted for Christmas. "On second thought, why don't you go tell Santa what you want?"

"Ho-ho! Come sit on my lap, little…" James "oofed" as Misty sat down on his lap. "Uh, not-so-little girl." He struggled to get comfortable. "Uh, now why don't you tell me what you want for Christmas?"

"Well," Misty began, "first, I'd like for my sisters to quit teasing me and giving me a hard time."

"Believe me, I understand all about women giving me a hard time," Santa said sympathetically. 

"Ow! Jess…I mean, Elf Jessie!" Santa yelped as the red-haired elf struck him with a giant candy cane.

"And I'd like a ball for my little Togepi to play with," Misty said as she cradled her Pokémon in her arms. "And then I'd…"

"Sorry, time's up," declared Elf Jessie as she shoved Misty off of James's lap. "Besides, you don't have any decent Pokémon worth stealing anyway."

"You're next," announced Reindeer Meowth, pointing at Ash. "You and your Pikachu."

"But I don't want…" Ash protested.

"Now, now, don't make Santa mad," James chided. "You don't want me to leave coal in your stocking, do you?" 

Jessie and Meowth grabbed Ash and pushed him onto James's lap. 

"Oh wait, one at a time," said Jessie. "I'll hold your Pikachu until you're done." She grabbed the Pokémon off of Ash's shoulders and stuffed it into the bag of presents that Meowth was holding. As the pair tried to make their getaway, they were confronted by Misty, who was none too thrilled about being dumped off of Santa's lap.

"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded angrily.

"Uh…delivering presents to all the good little boys and girls?" replied Meowth.

"That's what you think!" Misty pulled out a Poké ball. "Go, Poliwhirl!" Her Pokémon appeared from the Poké ball with a bright flash. "Poliwhirl," Misty commanded, "blast these two with your Hydro Pump!"

A torrent of water spouted from Poliwhirl's mouth, knocking Jessie and Meowth into the nearby Christmas tree. As Meowth dropped the bag, Pikachu hopped out.

"Team Rocket!" Ash exclaimed as he yanked the white beard off of the imposter Santa. "Not you guys again!"

"Uh-oh, looks like it's time for Santa to be heading back to the North Pole," said James, gathering up Pikachu and stuffing him in his suit. 

"Pikachu, hit him with Thunderbolt," Ash ordered.

As James was enveloped by the electric blast, he grabbed onto the string of lights dangling from the tree and ended up effectively illuminating it.

"Oooh, pretty," Misty said as she admired the light display. Several other shoppers also gathered around to watch the twinkling lights.

"Mommy, why does Rudolph look like a Meowth?" one curious child asked.

"There they are, Officer Jenny!" The real department store Santa had managed to free himself.

"Looks like Team Rocket's not too bright today," Jessie, James, and Meowth said in unison as Officer Jenny slapped handcuffs on them.


	4. December 21

__

Four days until Christmas and I'm still no closer to figuring out what to get Misty for Christmas, Ash thought unhappily as he laid on his bed. Yesterday's shopping trip had been a total disaster.

__

Now who can that be, Ash thought as the doorbell rang. He bounded downstairs and discovered that his visitor was…

"Misty?" 

"Hi, Ash," she said, holding out a pair of ice skates. "The pond at Professor Oak's place is frozen over, so I thought we could go ice skating."

"Ice skating?" 

"Sure. You do know how to ice skate, don't you?" 

Now Ash had been ice skating only once in his life and he remembered spending most of his time falling then. But he didn't want to disappoint Misty, so he reluctantly took the extra pair of skates from her and the two headed to the pond at the eastern end of the Pokémon preserve.

Misty quickly tied her ice skates and started skating gracefully around the oval pond. Ash watched her in fascination as she did a series of fancy spins.

"Wow, Misty, you're really good."

"Well, since I'm a water Pokémon gym leader and ice is just frozen water, I did a lot of ice skating when I was growing up in Cerulean City. But I bet you're pretty good too. You grew up next to this place, so I bet you spent all your winters here skating on the pond, didn't you?"

Actually, Ash had spent most of his winters sledding down the hill of the Oak estate, but he wasn't about to admit that to Misty.

"What am I going to do, Pikachu?" Ash whispered to his Pokémon as he tied the laces of his skates. "I don't know how to ice skate."

"Pikachu," his Pokémon said comfortingly.

"You're right, Pikachu," Ash said confidently, clenching his fist in determination. "If Misty can do it, then so can I! Besides, if she can do all those fancy spins and tricks, then how hard can it be?" Ash jumped to his feet and nearly fell on his face as his feet started sliding out from underneath him. Regaining his balance, Ash wobbled unsteadily as he tried to make his way over to Misty.

__

I'm not going to make myself look like a fool in front of her, Ash thought determinedly. _Maybe if I get going really fast then that'll impress her. _Ash started skating faster and faster and discovered that he could keep his balance better that way. _Wow, look at me,_ he thought happily as he sped towards Misty. _I'm flying like a Fearow! This ice skating isn't so hard, after all._

"Hey, betcha can't do this, Misty," Ash playfully taunted her as he sped by. 

"Ash, watch out for the…" Misty called out as Ash realized that he was heading straight for the oak tree at the edge of the pond.

Ash tried to stop himself, but was going too fast to control where he was going. "Aaugh! How do you stop these?!" 

CRASH!

"…tree." 

--- 

"Keep that ice pack on your nose and the bleeding should stop in a few minutes." For the second time in three days, Ash found himself on the Pokémon examination table in the laboratory while Professor Oak was administering first aid. "So what happened this time? Misty mentioned something about ice skating."

"Yeah, we were skating on the pond and a tree got in my way."

"You're lucky you didn't break your nose, or anything else for that matter," Professor Oak admonished as he started putting away the bandages. "Keep this up and pretty soon I won't have any medical supplies left to treat the Pokémon with. Why were you going so fast, anyway? Misty said that you went flying across the pond."

"I…well…I…oh, I didn't want to let her know that I couldn't ice skate! Besides, she was doing all those fancy jumps and stunts and stuff. I didn't want to seem like I couldn't keep up with her."

Professor Oak chuckled. "So you were trying to impress Misty, were you?"

Ash's face turned bright red. "I'm not trying to impress her! Why would I want to do something like that for? She's not my girlfriend!"

"I never said she was, Ash," Professor Oak said, amused by the boy's reaction.

"Hey, Ash," Misty said as she came into the room. "Are you all right?"

Professor Oak smiled. "I'll leave the two of you alone."

"Hey, don't…" Ash called out as Professor Oak returned to his workstation.

"Oh, Ash, that looks really bad," Misty noted as she removed Ash's ice pack.

"Nahh, it's not that bad. Professor Oak said it wasn't broken or anything. See, it's not even bleeding anymore. Besides, Pokémon Masters are tough. It doesn't even hurt." Ash winced as Misty gently touched his bruised nose. "Well, maybe it hurts just a little."

"Next time, I think we'll just stick to something safer like going for a walk," Misty said as she gathered up her ice skates. "I've got to get going, but I just wanted to make sure you were all right before I left." "Besides," she smiled mischievously as she gave Ash's arm a comforting squeeze, "I've got to go check on your Christmas present. See you, Ash. Professor Oak."

"Good-bye, Misty," Professor Oak called out from his workstation in the corner of the lab. He looked up from his work and saw Ash lying on the examination table with the ice pack on his head and an odd expression on his face. Curious, Professor Oak closed his internet browser (where he had been looking at a web page titled "How to Find the Perfect Present for the Special Woman in Your Life") and wandered over to where Ash lay.

"Something the matter, Ash?"

"I think I'm getting sick or something, Professor Oak."

"Sick?"

"Yeah, I feel kind of hot. Like I've got a fever or something." Ash adjusted the ice pack on his head. "My whole body also feels like, well, tingly. Kind of like how I feel after I get shocked by Pikachu. And my stomach feels like there are a whole bunch of Butterfrees flying around in it. And it also feels like there's a whole herd of Rapidash galloping around inside my chest."

Professor Oak smiled. "Based on the symptoms you've just described to me, I don't think you're coming down with anything, Ash."

"Are you sure, Professor? Can't you use one of these machines to figure out what's wrong with me?" Ash grabbed one of the electrodes from a nearby monitor and stuck it to his forehead.

"First of all, those machines are for diagnosing Pokémon, not people." Ash yelped as Professor Oak yanked the electrode off of the boy's head. "And I think I have an explanation for your mysterious symptoms."

"You do? What?" Ash asked as he sat up.

"Ash, you like Misty, don't you?"

"Well, yeah, I guess I like her…as a friend, I mean," he added hastily as he felt the redness starting to creep back into his cheeks.

"Ash, now that you're getting older, you're going to start feeling the way you do about girls more and more. It's a perfectly normal reaction. I get those feelings when I'm around your moth…" He quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. "Uh, what I meant to say was that it's normal for you to feel that way about Misty."

"And that's why I've got to find her a Christmas present," Ash said as he hopped off of the table and handed the ice pack to Professor Oak. "You heard what she said. She's already found me something."

Professor Oak handed the ice pack back to Ash. "Keep that on your nose a bit longer and the swelling shouldn't be too bad tomorrow. I hope you've learned something from all this, Ash."

"Yeah," Ash said as he replaced the ice pack on his injured nose. "If I ever need free medical care, I should come to you first."

Professor Oak frowned. "Try again, Ash."

"Uh…that trying to show Misty that I could ice skate even though I couldn't was a pretty dumb idea?"

"You're getting closer, Ash," Professor Oak said, smiling. "Just don't try so hard to impress Misty. She seems to like you just the way you are. And besides, you're going to kill yourself the way you're going. I can't keep patching you up every other day." He started searching through the cabinets. "Oh yes, that reminds me. I still owe you a tetanus shot, don't I?"

Ash was out the door before Professor Oak turned around.


	5. December 22

Ash followed his bruised nose into the kitchen at the Oak house and found an apron-clad Brock happily mixing a bowl of cookie icing.

"Hey, Brock. What're you doing?"

"Making Christmas cookies for Professor Oak's party." He nodded in the direction of several plates of brightly-decorated cookies.

"Wow, those look great." As Ash reached for one of them, Brock whacked his hand with a wooden spoon. "Ow! Hey!"

"Those are for the party, Ash. Hand me the food coloring so I can tint this icing. I'm going to make a red batch this time."

Ash searched the countertop and saw a small vial with a purple lid. Figuring that it must be the food coloring, Ash opened the container and dumped the solution into the bowl of icing. As Brock stirred, the icing turned bright purple.

"Hey, this isn't red," Brock noticed. "Oh well, guess I can use it to make the robes for the angels." He spread the frosting on one sugar-cookie angel and took a bite. "Pretty good, if I do say so myself."

"Hey, how come you get to eat a cookie and I don't?" Ash complained as his stomach growled.

Brock, taking pity on his starving friend, spread the frosting on another angel and handed it to Ash, who devoured it almost immediately. "Mmm, those are good, Brock. Especially the icing. It kind of tastes like fruit juice." Ash stuck his finger in the mixing bowl and scooped up a large helping of icing, dodging another whack from Brock's wooden spoon.

"Hello, boys," said Professor Oak. "I couldn't help but notice the delicious aroma and had to see Brock's handiwork for myself." He picked up one of the green tree-shaped cookies. "These are almost too beautiful to eat, Brock."

"Thanks, Professor," Brock beamed at the compliment. 

"By the way, have either of you seen a small vial, about an inch tall? I was sure that I had left it in here." Professor Oak started rummaging through the bowls and mixing cups on the countertop. "It had a purple lid and contained several milliliters of liquid."

"Uh, just what exactly _was_ that liquid, Professor?" Ash asked anxiously.

"It was purple Shuckle juice in a highly concentrated form. And you know as well as I do that it's a potent Pokémon pheromone, so it's imperative that I find that vial."

Ash and Brock exchanged horrified glances.

"Muk!" The giant sludge Pokémon appeared in the doorway. As it sniffed the air, it caught scent of the powerful pheromone now being emitted by both Brock and Ash. "Muk!!!!" The love-struck Pokémon started advancing rapidly on both boys.

"Aaaaugh!" Brock and Ash took off running down the hall, with Muk in hot pursuit.

__

Good old Muk, Professor Oak thought as he nibbled a purple angel cookie_. Nice Pokémon, but can be a bit too friendly sometimes._

"Kookie-kookie," Kingler said as it entered the kitchen and started nuzzling Professor Oak's leg. 

"Hello, Kingler," said Professor Oak. "It's not time for our tea and poetry session yet."

Just then, Heracross flew into the kitchen and landed on Professor Oak's back, knocking him to the floor.

"Heracross, what are you doing?" The Pokémon started sucking Professor Oak's neck. "Get off of me!"

Professor Oak looked up and found himself face-to-face with a love-struck Bulbasaur. 

"Bulba," Bulbasaur said dreamily as it wrapped its vines around Professor Oak and started licking his face.

"What is the world is going on here?!" Professor Oak exclaimed as Brock and Ash ran past with a lust-crazed Muk, Noctowl, Golbat, Totodile, and Pikachu in mad pursuit.

"Don't eat the purple icing, Professor Oak!" Ash called out as Muk pulled him to the ground and began hugging him. "Muk, Stop it! Brock, help!"

"Can't help you now, Ash!" Brock said as he tried to pull an amorous Golbat off of his face.

__

Why me, thought Professor Oak as a cooing Noctowl landed on his head.


	6. December 23

"Hi, Professor Oak. Why did you ask me to come over?"

"Ah, there you are, Ash." Professor Oak picked up a pair of fearsome-looking curved scissors. "Why don't you have a seat?"

"Uh, what are you going to do with those, Professor?" Ash asked anxiously as he started heading back out the door.

"I'm going to take those stitches out of your forehead. Now hop up on the table."

Ash eyed Professor Oak warily. "Is that the _only_ thing you're going to do to me with those scissors?"

"Yes, Ash. I'm not going to perform an appendectomy on you while you're not looking. I'm not as needle-happy as you think." He patted the Pokémon examination table. "Come on. Climb up here."

With some reluctance, Ash obeyed. Professor Oak removed the bandage from Ash's head and examined the wound. "Looks like it's healed beautifully, Ash. Shouldn't even leave a scar," he observed as he carefully clipped away the two bits of suture material. "And it looks like the bruising on your nose has diminished considerably. Any problems with it?"

Ash shook his head.

"So, Ash, did you ever find a present for Misty?"

"No."

"Ash, Christmas is the day after tomorrow, you know."

"I know, Professor. But I can't find what I want to give her. Nothing seems right. I've looked at clothes, jewelry, perfume, cookies…"

"Don't remind me about cookies, Ash," Professor Oak said tersely as he put away his suture scissors. "You and Brock are lucky that I had some pheromone antidote on hand." He still had the bite marks on his neck from where Heracross had tried to give him a hickey.

"What am I going to do, Professor Oak? The Christmas party's tomorrow night."

"Ash, have you ever thought about giving Misty what's in there?" he said, tapping the boy's chest.

"My jacket?" Ash said, puzzled. "There's nothing in there but a pack of gum and a used tissue. I don't think Misty would want that for Christmas."

Professor Oak slapped his forehead. Sometimes Ash could be so dense that it was unbelievable. "I mean your _heart_, boy! Tell her how you feel about her."

Ash was aghast. "I can't do that, Professor! What if she doesn't feel the same way about me that I do about her? What if she laughs at me?"

"Well, that's a chance you're going to have to take if you want to have a relationship with her. Besides, I don't think Misty would laugh at you. She seems like a very nice young lady. And she seems like she's fond of you, too."

"Really?" Ash was surprised.

"Yes. I've watched the two of you together. It's obvious to even me that she likes you."

"Wow," Ash said as he slid off of the table. "Do you really think so?"

"Yes, Ash." Professor Oak smiled. "Now run along and I'll see you and your mother at the party tomorrow night."

"Thanks, Professor," Ash grinned as he headed out the door.

As Professor Oak glanced out the window and saw Ash heading down the road, he caught a glimpse of Delia hanging a Christmas wreath on her front door. As he watched her for a moment, he was suddenly struck by the irony of the conversation he had just had with Delia's son.

__

Samuel, you may be good at giving out advice, but you aren't good about following it yourself.


	7. December 24

"Now Ash, I want you to be on your best behavior tonight," Delia reminded her son as she rang the doorbell of the Oak house. "Stand up straight. No slouching. Say 'please' and thank you'."

Ash bristled at being treated like a five-year old. "Mom, I'm not a little kid anymore."

The door opened and Misty answered. "Hello, Mrs. Ketchum. Hi, Ash."

Ash couldn't believe his eyes. Misty was wearing a blue-green dress the same color as her eyes, which made them seem large and luminous. The aqua color provided a pleasing contrast to her red-blonde hair, which she wore down and with a touch of curl at the ends. 

Ash's jaw dropped to the floor. He had never seen Misty look so beautiful.

"Ash," his mother nudged him, "say 'hello' to Misty."

Jarred back to his senses, Ash stammered, "Oh…hi, Misty. You look so…so…well, so like a _girl_."

"Well, I guess I'll take that as being a compliment," Misty said as she stood aside to let Ash and his mother enter.

"Misty, who's that?" Professor Oak asked as he stuck his head in the hallway.

"It's Ash and Mrs. Ketchum," she replied.

"My goodness, Professor," Delia said. "I don't think I've ever seen you in a tie before."

Professor Oak didn't answer. He was too busy staring at Delia. 

She removed her coat to reveal that she was wearing a red dress a couple of shades darker than her auburn hair, which she wore loose and down around her shoulders. The combination of the crimson-colored dress, her red-brown hair, and soft brown eyes gave Delia a warm glow. Professor Oak noted that her dress clung appealingly in all the right places.

__

She does have incredible breasts. And hips. And legs. And…

"Hey, Professor, say 'hello' to my mom." 

Ash's reminder snapped him out of his reverie. "Oh, hello, Mrs. Ketchum. Ash. It's certainly a pleasure that you could join us. A great pleasure indeed." He couldn't take his eyes off of her.

"Thank you, Professor," Delia smiled as she handed him her coat. "I've been looking forward to this evening."

__

And I'm definitely looking forward to this evening now, Professor Oak thought as Ash dumped his coat atop his mother's.

"Come on, Ash," Misty said as she took his arm. "Brock and Tracey are already here. You won't believe how beautifully the living room is decorated. And wait until you see the food."

--- 

"I'm so hungry, Jessie," James complained as he stomach growled. "You'd think that they would've at least fed us a decent meal at the Saffron City jail."

"Shut up and let's keep going," Jessie snarled. "I'm just as hungry as you are."

"Hey, guys, look at that!" Meowth pointed to a large house atop a hill. "Looks like they're having a party over there."

"And you know what they usually serve at parties," Jessie said eagerly, licking her lips.

"Food!" all three said in unison as they hurried up the hill.

---

"Jessie, I don't want to do this," Meowth protested.

"Stop whining and get up there!" Jessie ordered her reluctant partner. 

"It's okay, Meowth," James reassured his friend. "I'll pull you up and then I'll lower you down into the chimney." James was standing atop the roof of the Oak lab, ready to pull the reluctant Meowth up by a rope wound around the Pokémon's midsection.

"Just get in there and get us some food," Jessie barked. "I saw cookies, cake, candy…" 

James was salivating. "Come on, Meowth!" He tugged on the rope, yanking Meowth off of his feet.

"Meowth! Hey, watch it, Jimmy!" 

As James pulled Meowth up the side of the house, the rope holding Meowth began to fray. 

"Uh-oh, guess that's why that guy sold me the rope for such a cheap price," James commented as the rope broke and Meowth tumbled to the ground with a loud thump.

"Oh, my leg! I think I broke my leg!" Meowth whined piteously as he lay on the frozen grass.

"Quit acting like a baby and get back up there," Jessie ordered as she bent down to pick up Meowth, ready to toss him back onto the roof.

"Yow! Quit it, Jess!" Meowth moaned.

"Jessie, I think Meowth really is hurt," James said as he looked down with concern at his injured accomplice.

"Oh, he's just faking it so he won't have to go back up there," Jessie snarled.

"I'm not faking anything, Jessie. My leg really hurts!" Meowth said as he clutched his left leg.

Jessie regarded her hurt friend for a moment and her voice softened. "You know, Meowth, I think you might be right."

James slid down off of the roof. "What are we going to do, Jessie? Pallet Town doesn't have a Pokémon Center or a Nurse Joy."

"We'll just have to carry him to Viridian City. They've got a Pokémon Center there. Pick him up," Jessie ordered.

Meowth screamed in pain as James lifted him in his arms.

"Jessie, I don't think Meowth can make it to Viridian City." James looked inside the window at where the party was in full swing. "Hey, wait, the professor who lives here is an expert on Pokémon. Maybe he can help Meowth."

"James, are you nuts? We can't go in there. Those twerps will kick us out." Jessie picked up their equipment. "We'll just have to head to Viridian City. Come on." 

As the three started down the hill, Meowth cried as James's every footstep intensified his pain.

"Jessie, there's no way Meowth will make it to Viridian City." James turned and started back up the hill to the front door of the Oak laboratory.

"James, what are you doing?" Jessie asked in disbelief.

"Meowth is our friend, Jessie. We have to do what's best for him. Especially tonight." James rang the doorbell.

A gray-haired man answered the door. "Hello, can I help you?" 

"Are you Professor Oak?" James asked.

"Yes," Professor Oak answered, studying the purple-haired teenager carrying a Meowth in his arms. Behind the boy was a girl with bright red hair.

"Meowth is hurt. Can you help him?" James said, holding out his arms.

"Hey, what's going on?" Ash asked as he came into the hall. "Hey, it's Team Rocket! Don't let them in, Professor Oak. It's a trick!"

"Believe it or not, twerp," Jessie sneered, "this isn't a trick."

Misty and Brock followed Ash into the hall.

"What are they doing here?" asked Brock.

Jessie caught sight of Misty. "Well, well, looks like the twerp really _is_ a girl, after all." 

"That's it! You get out of here!" Misty said angrily.

James turned his attention back to Professor Oak. "Can you help Meowth, please?"

"What's wrong with Meowth?" Professor Oak asked.

"My leg. I broke my leg," Meowth moaned.

"Don't listen to them, Professor Oak," said Ash. "It's just another one of their sneaky tricks."

"I don't think it's a trick, Ash," said Brock as he looked at the hapless Pokémon. "I think Meowth's leg really is broken."

"Why don't you bring him back to the Pokémon examination room so I can take a look?" Professor Oak said as he stepped aside to let James and Jessie in.

"I still don't trust you," said Misty, eyeing Jessie warily.

"Why don't you go back to your party and finish playing dress-up, little girl?" Jessie tossed back.

Professor Oak stuck his head inside the living room where the party was behind held. "Tracey," he called to his assistant, "I need your help."

"Hey, what are they doing here?" Tracey exclaimed at the sight of Team Rocket.

"What's the other twerp doing here?" Team Rocket exclaimed at the sight of Tracey.

"Tracey is my assistant," Professor Oak informed them. "Tracey, please take Meowth back to the Pokémon treatment room and I'll be there in a moment." 

"What's going on?" Delia asked as she approached the small crowd in the hallway.

"Hey, look, it's his girlfriend," Jessie told James. "Sorry, but we're going to have to borrow your boyfriend for a little while. It's a Pokémon emergency."

Meowth perked up at the sight of Delia. "Hey, Professor, she's a real hottie. No wonder you like her."

With an embarrassed glance at Delia, Professor Oak led Team Rocket back to the Pokémon treatment area.

---

For an hour, Jessie and James maintained a vigil outside the door of the examination room. Finally, Professor Oak emerged and approached the worried pair.

"How is Meowth?" James asked anxiously.

"Your diagnosis was correct; Meowth did have a broken leg. Fortunately, I've placed a cast on it and he'll be as good as new in a few weeks. How did he break his leg, anyway? He wouldn't tell me."

Jessie and James exchanged nervous glances. "Uh…we…um…can we see Meowth?"

"Well, he's resting right now. The pain medication I gave him made him sleepy. Tracey's putting him to bed right now."

"Thank you for everything, Professor," James said gratefully. "Although I'm afraid we can't afford to pay you for treating Meowth." He opened the Team Rocket money purse and a bottle cap fell out. 

As Jessie's stomach audibly rumbled, Professor Oak felt sorry for the pair of would-be food thieves. 

__

I may end up regretting this, but it is Christmas Eve after all.

"Don't worry about it. There's no charge. Consider it a Christmas present," Professor Oak said, smiling. "And since Meowth won't feel up to going anywhere for a while, feel free to stay here and enjoy the party."

Jessie and James' eyes grew wide. "You…you really mean it? We can stay?"

"Yes. Now go ahead and help yourselves to the food in the other room."

Jessie and James raced down the hallway, pushed past the other partygoers at the banquet table, and proceeded to stuff themselves.

"This turkey is the best…gulp…I've ever had. It's so moist…mmm…"

"Try the cookies, Jessie. These little snowmen are delicious!"

Ash, Misty, and Brock watched in amazement as the pair proceeded to devour everything on the table.

"Good thing we ate earlier," remarked Brock. "Because I don't think there's going to be any food left in a couple of minutes."

Ash tugged at Misty's arm. "Hey, Misty. Come with me for a minute."

"Where are we going, Ash?" Misty asked as she followed him down the hallway.

"You'll see," Ash said as he led her out the back door.

Once outside in the backyard, Ash led Misty to the wooden bench that sat under the huge Pokéberry tree on the hill that overlooked Pallet Town. 

Misty shivered in the cold night air. "Brrr, we can't stay out here too long."

Ash took off his jacket and placed it around Misty's shoulders. "Is that better?"

"Yeah, thanks. But now you're going to get cold."

"Nahh, don't worry about it. I'm tough. Pokémon Masters don't let little things like cold get to them."

"So, Ash, why did you bring me out here?"

"Well, I…I thought that maybe we could give each other our Christmas presents now," Ash said.

"Oh. That's a good idea." Misty reached into the pocket of her dress and handed Ash a small present wrapped in bright green paper. 

Ash eagerly opened Misty's gift. "Wow! What's this?"

"It's a Love Ball. I asked Kurt to make you one. I wasn't sure he was going to get it done by Christmas. Matter of fact, it didn't get here until this morning."

"Wow, this is great, Misty. Thanks." He admired his new Poké ball then placed it in his pocket. "Now I can catch some new Pokémon."

"Did you get me a present, Ash?" 

"Well, I…I…"

Misty's face fell. "Oh, if you didn't get me anything, then that's okay," she said, disappointment obvious in her voice.

"No, Misty," Ash reassured her. "It's just that I've been looking for days to try to get you the perfect present, but nothing seemed right." He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. "But Professor Oak gave me a good idea. He said that I should tell you how I feel about you."

"And how do you feel about me, Ash?"

"I kinda wrote some stuff down, sorta like a poem. Would you like to hear it?"

Misty grinned. "Sure."

Ash took a deep breath to calm the flock of Butterfrees fluttering in his stomach and began. 

"Misty, I think you're pretty cool,

Just like my best friend, Pikachu.

Your hair is like the color of flame,

Kind of like a Rapidash's mane.

And your eyes are really blue,

Just like the water or a Tentacool.

And it's really plain to me,

Your Pokémon love you, just like Togepi.

And until the very end,

I hope that you'll always be my friend."

Misty, her eyes swimming with tears, was overcome by emotion. "Ash, that's so wonderful!" 

Before Ash knew what was happening, Misty threw her arms around him and kissed him.

__

Whoa! Misty's kissing me! This is so…so…Ash suddenly felt warm and tingly inside. _So nice._

"Ash, are you all right?" Misty asked as their lips parted. Ash was staring at her with a goofy grin on his face.

"Yeah. Um, could we try that again, Misty?"

Misty grinned. "Sure."

As the two kissed again, another couple was watching them from the back porch.

"Samuel, did you really help Ash write that poem for Misty?" Delia asked.

"Well, Ash wrote most of it," he said shyly. "I just gave him some ideas, that's all."

"That is so sweet," Delia smiled. "I didn't know you wrote poetry."

"Well, it's not very good. It's mostly about Pokémon," Professor Oak admitted.

"I like poetry," Delia said, taking his hand in hers. "What would you say about me if you were going to write a poem about me?"

"Oh, well…I…" He took a deep breath to calm the flock of Butterfrees fluttering in his stomach. "Well, I'd guess I'd start with your hair. It's so pretty," he said, fingering a lock of her hair. "The same shade of a Fire Stone."

"Then what?" Delia said, moving closer to him.

"Then I'd say something about your eyes. They're just like the eyes of a Vulpix, soft and brown."

"And then what?" she whispered.

He was staring at her breasts. He had a verse about them too, but figured that he'd keep that one to himself…at least for now.

"And then this," he said as he pulled her close to him and kissed her.

---

"Oh, those silly loveboids," Meowth giggled groggily as he looked out the window at the two couples kissing. The pain medication had made him goofy. He then hallucinated about chasing a ball of yarn and fell back onto his pillow, paws waving slowly. "C'mere, you."

--- 

Meanwhile, back in the living room, Jessie and James sprawled on the couch in front of the fireplace.

"I think that was the most I've eaten in a year," James sighed as he patted his full stomach. "How about you, Jess?" He noticed that she seemed sad. "Jessie, are you all right? Do you need some antacid?"

"No, it's not that," she said wistfully as she stared at the fireplace. "It's just this," she said, waving her arm around the elaborately decorated room. "I never had anything like this for Christmas when I was growing up. No fireplace, no food, no decorations, not even a tree. All we had was a branch stuck in a coffee can that I'd put bits of paper on and pretend that they were ornaments." 

Moved with pity, James reached into his pocket. "Here, Jessie."

"What's this?" she asked as she took the small package from him.

"It's not much," he said as she unwrapped the present. Her mouth fell open at the sight of the small, elaborately dressed doll that bore a strong resemblance to her Pokémon Arbok. "I know that you wanted a set of Pokémon dolls when you were a little girl, so I found this one when we were at the Saffron City Department Store. That's why there was no money in the purse. I spent it to get this doll for you."

"Oh, James," Jessie said, eyes welling up with tears. "I believe that this is the nicest gift anyone's ever given me. Thank you."

And then before James knew what was happening, Jessie threw her arms around him and kissed him.

"That's really bizarre," Tracey said to Brock as the two watched Jessie kiss James.

"You're telling me," said Brock. "But, hey, it's Christmas, so I guess anything can happen. Oops, better get that." Brock took off in the opposite direction as the latest guest arrived.

Tracey shook his head and went back to join Duplica at the piano. 

"Hey, Brock," Gary said as Brock answered the door. "I just saw the weirdest thing on my way over here. Ash and Misty were kissing under the tree in the backyard, and Grandpa and Mrs. Ketchum were kissing on the back porch."

"You think that's weird," Brock said, moving aside to let Gary view Jessie and James kissing on the couch.

Gary's mouth fell open. "Jeez, what did you guys put in that egg nog, anyway?"

THE END 


End file.
